A feedback based personal review: us! (part4)

Filed under: Stuff... pfu... — Ilias Bartolini at 2:21 am on Friday, February 3, 2012

Choices, present - Ilias Bartolini In the part 1 and 2 of this series I explained “why” and “how” you should do a personal review.

In part 3 I said that this review is for you and to reflect on yourself!
…honestly, is not completely true: is also for the people around us :)

One important lesson that I learned is to share some of the results of this review with some of the people around me.
If you start with the mindset that part of your review should be shared you may feel a bit uncomfortable and constraining your train of thoughts. But definitely sharing it is of great value.

Most of our goals and actions are possible only with the help of our friends and our peers: “us”

Do you remember the part 1 advices about feedback?

Sharing my review and expectations with the people around me created a great amount of new invaluable feedback!

I dismissed actions that were wrong, I received new ideas on new possible ways to solve a problem or getting near to a goal.
A new wider feedback loop started to strengthen: some of my expectations changed thanks to the feedback received.

In less than 1 month many small goals started happening thanks to my friends and my colleagues.
Something that initially I thought was very difficult to achieve became very easy with the support of a friend.
In another very particular situation something that I couldn’t even imagine happened because the person I spoke with was aware of my expectations.

Do you feel uncomfortable to share some of your expectations with your friend? Try to reconsider and ask yourself if is totally correct or right what you are trying to achieve.
Sometimes is also true that not everyone is ready to hear about your review. You cannot expect to receive a good feedback talking with a stranger you met in the street. Choose the people you want to speak to with attention, set a safe environment and context and always be honest with them!

Do you feel uncomfortable to have a difficult conversation with people around you on violated expectations or bad behaviour?
Again I’ve been very grateful for having red recently the book Crucial Confrontations by Patterson-Grenny-McMillan-Switzler where I found invaluable advices to help solving complex situations.

“Change will never happen fully until people know how to talk to one another”

Overall this has been a very positive experience that now other people around me are starting. And now is becoming equally fulfilling being on the other side helping some of my peers in finding some of the answers and feedback they need!

Are you happy that I shared this experience?
I would have not written this blog post if in my review actions there wasn’t “write a blog post about this review” and “find some peer pressure to write more”.
So thanks to my awesome colleague Andrew Maddison for being my official blog peer reviewer and putting some positive pressure :)

Last but not least rule of good feedback: don’t forget to say THANK YOU to the people around you!

…do you have any feedback? comments are welcome!

A feedback based personal review: you! (part3)

Filed under: Stuff... pfu... — Ilias Bartolini at 2:58 am on Thursday, February 2, 2012

Choice, past - Ilias Bartolini In the part 1 and 2 of this series I explained “why” and “how” you should run a personal review and its benefits. Now let’s see how you can use all the data that we have gathered!

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool”
- Richard P. Feynman

Be honest with yourself and be ready to flip your mindset! Probably I’ve been lucky to watch this presentation of Linda Rising on “The power of Agile Mindset”.
The important lesson I learned is to be ready to recognise that you were wrong and you have done some mistakes! Correcting our own mistakes is the greatest learning point of a self-review.

The most important part of this personal review is about you and reflecting on yourself!
Now you have collected lot of data, you started thinking what you really value and what are your long term expectations: it’s time to create your actions plan!!

You want to contribute more? Start writing more blog posts, be more active in you communities, be ready to help your friends whenever they need you!
You want to learn photography? Choose a photography club in your area, choose and attend a photography course.
You want to eat more healthily? Start taking a log of your meals and setting some constraints to your diet.
You want to do more sport activity? Haven’t started yet your gym subscription?!? London marathon is next April!

Ehy! wait a minute! Don’t commit yourself to too many actions: is important that you do and give whatever you can without burning out!

One of the major changes that happened to myself during my review is the one of a mindset flip. Like many of us I’ve always felt very busy and with too many things to do wishing I had a 36hrs a day!
Don’t make my same mistake! Now you can look at “what really matters” and choose your priorities. Everyday now I don’t feel to busy anymore, but I’m feeling more positive and with a lot more of enthusiasm!

I’m still feeling that I’m probably doing too many things but with the conviction that is the right direction given the information I had at the moment of my choices.

“Intelligence is Diverse, Dynamic, Distinct”
- Sir Ken Robinson

…and the same is for your life and work. In your actions you must be specific and tight to you context and allow you to keep a good balance.
You can transform some of them in a TODO list to follow daily. Split big actions in smaller ones so that you can measure and accomplish something new every day.
If you want to learn more on how to create better actions read this short article on S.M.A.R.T. goals.

We tend to create new actions and adding something new to our behaviour to achieve a goal.
Sherlock Holmes in “Silver Blaze” solved a crime by deducing who was the criminal because “the dog did not bark”. Similarly is very easy to recognise that you should do something new, but is very difficult to acknowledge you should stop doing something or that something in a common situation is missing.

Finally acknowledge what you’ve already learned!
In the last year during my first two work projects I recognised that I had received almost constantly the same feedback from may colleagues. Recognising it and acknowledging that in my last few months I fixed it has been one of the most positive experiences that gave me a whole new injection of confidence.

So, what are you waiting for?!? It’s time to put your plan into action now!